Lets Talk About You and Me!

I want to give a shout out to all you singles out there.  I know the dating world can be a total jungle even under the most perfect of circumstances.  Now toss a life altering condition like lupus in the mix and the results can be disastrous.  I know that introduction is not inspiring a lot of confidence right now, but hold on, I have more to tell. 
If you are single and have lupus you may be wondering about dating and how things will be different for you now.  I know that was something I spent a lot of time thinking about.  When I was first diagnosed with lupus, I was 25 and single.  When the time was right for me I wanted to re-enter the dating world.  However, as soon as I made that decision the panic began.  What if I meet Mr. Right, when do I tell him?  What will he think?  Will someone want to put up with me?  Those precious gems were only the questions I had in the first 30 seconds.  But, being the persistent little bugger that I am, I tucked all that panic away for another day, and jumped into the dating pool head first.
Wanting to meet someone who would be respectful of the restrictions I follow, meeting an eligible bachelor was going to be a challenge.  After much thought I chose to use an Internet dating site.  It worked great for me.  That was the smallest battle of the long war I fought to love with lupus.  I met the man that would later become my husband, we started a casual dating relationship.  After a few good dates, I struggled with that chaotic brain fire of questions again.  I knew if we were going to be serious he would need to know I had lupus.  Which for me was scary, I had to explain all those things I wasn't confident with yet.  Like there would be days I could not go out because I was to sick.  There will be a lot of doctors appointments and so on.  We all know the laundry list that goes along with lupus. 
Part of having lupus is being a fighter and knowing there will be loss at times.  So I accepted that he may hear the news and run as fast as his work boots could carry him.  I expected the worst and got the best, he stayed around.  We are now married and I am glad I tackled the hard hill of dating with lupus.  If I can give any advice to those of you who are single with lupus, it is to be confident.  The right person is out there for you.  There is someone who will love and respect you for having lupus, someone who will want to fight with you.  If they run from you when you tell them about your illness, they were not the one for you.  Do not get discouraged, all things take time.  The key is to put yourself out there.  You are just as good with lupus as you were without it.  So get out there and live your best lupus life in love.  Stay tuned for tips and tricks and be in the lupus loop.